Friday, November 28, 2014

Airing Grievances Properly


Whether at work, at home, or with friends, you will sometimes come into situations where it is necessary to air your grievances; airing your grievances can be a sticky situation even if you approach it properly, but if you do not approach this sticky situation properly, it can end up being even a whole lot worse!

Of course, understanding when the situation calls for you to air your grievances is the first step to airing them properly; if there is something about someone else that has been bugging or annoying you, the first thing you should do is examine this thing and decide whether the problem lies with them or with you. There will be small things about the other person that bug you in every friendship or relationship you have – but you must also realize that there are small things about you that surely bother them; because of this, both you and the other person should get into the habit of allowing the small things to slide, as this will help you to keep the peace much more easily.

But if you are in a situation where you have established that it is truly necessary for you to air your grievances, the first thing you should do is find a time and a place that will be good for talking. After you have found a time and place that will not catch the other person off guard – that is to say, a time and place where you can present to them the fact that you are wanting to discuss something – you can begin your conversation by explaining to them what it is that has been bugging you; during this time, it is important that you put the onus on yourself rather than on them, which means that you will take the approach of telling them what bothers you, rather than telling them that they are doing something wrong.

You might still find that you offend or upset the other person when you present the situation to them in this manner, but after you have allowed them to share their side, explain to them that you truly do not feel they are doing anything wrong (even if this is not completely true!), but rather that each person is unique and, therefore, that each person is annoyed by different things – and that what they have been doing is simply something that annoys you!

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